Friends ·
Friendship ·
I Wish You Felt More Taken Care Of | {THE AND} Juliana & Sean
In This Video
Juliana (she/her) & Sean (he/him) have been best friends for more than 4 years. They both describe the other as their healthy mirror and this has helped them grow and evolve to become better versions of themselves through a whole lotta love and trust. Their friendship has had a huge impact on each other's lives and they've played a major role in one another's support system. They walk together through thick and thin and they know how to have a good laugh along the way.
Transcript
Do your best impression of me.
Um.
We're going to get some Whole Foods,
and rolls, and it´s just jarring.
It's just jarring?
You always say jarring for some reason.
There's one word that I always like
That was a terrible impression, by the way.
It was awful.
I just feel like mine would be like, “Dude!”
That´s so true! - Yeah.
If for some reason I lost all of my memory,
what is the first thing you'd tell me about us?
I don't know why, but I thought of this.
That we have a friendship tattoo kind of.
Oh my go, yeah!
It'd be cool to say that, just so it's like
we have a tattoo of each other, like,
we're supposed to be in each other´s life forever.
Yeah.
Um,
I would say that
We're each other's healthy mirror.
Mm.
Like, we...
Yeah.
That, like, our friendship is very
healthy. And like,
Like our friendship is a good place to kind of like, touch base.
Mm. Yes.
I think I would say something along those lines, too.
But I would say like, this is like a safe place.
Yeah, I would say that too.
To got just... - Like, whatever.
Throw it out there, you know?
Be open. - Yeah.
Yeah. - Yeah, I feel the same way.
This is a safe place.
This is like a,
This is a good place to just
Not be judged.
Yeah, yeah.
I agree.
Okay.
All right.
Okay.
Damn!
Uh, okay.
Describe the first moment you realized you could fully trust me.
Mhm. Wow.
I don't know if I can remember that.
You know, you know what's coming to mind though?
Like just straight away, is
that I remember the first time you read my writing.
and your reflection back to me was like, so beautiful.
Like it, like it was exactly what I would want to hear
from someone that read what you read.
Beacuse you were like, it was like, “I know you”,
And then you just came aliv... like it was like you in, like, full color.
Yeah. - When you read it.
And I remember that because that's obviously,
you know, it's like writing is vulnerable,
especially what I write about.
So it was like “Oh, okay.”
Like this is a good person to, to share these things with.
Like, I can share anything with you,
Nice. - You know?
And because it was, it was
it was a way of knowing you, like
fully, through your writing.
Because there was always some very mysterious side of you.
Mhm.
You know, like, there's something, more than mysterious.
You kept to yourself.
So for me,
you know, you opened up in a way where I was like,
“oh, good”, like “my secrets are also okay”
to be told.
You know, like, - Mhm. Yeah.
If you opened up so vulnerably,
writing that, and you trusted me to read that.
Yeah.
For me, it was also like,
I have deep, dark secrets and they're not weird.
Mm.
Yeah.
And, and I can share with somebody that would totally understand this.
What do you feel connects us?
I mean,
there's so many.
Our...our childhood?
Mm-hm.
Like that, that place, that safe space in our minds
when we were kids.
Because so much stuff was going on on the outside,
that we made this, like,
amazing world in our heads
to protect ourselves from what was happening.
Emotionally, specifically.
Like,
I really
feel like that, I feel like that connects us a lot.
Obviously, the thing that we talk about all the time is how we go through
parallel things in our lives.
Totally.
Like, I, Often at the same time.
Often at the same time.
We're like,
“this is happening with a person”,
I'm like, “this is happening with a person for me!”, like,
I feel like the synchronicities
that we go through in our lives in a parallel way.
I think I told you this once,
I feel like God was like,
you know, let's give them, let's give them, like, company,
so they don´t have to go through it, - Right.
They can go through it alone, but they can have somebody else
to go through it as well, to understand each other.
Yeah.
Yeah, I feel like at this point, I'm pretty much taking it for granted.
Like, if we, like, meet up for dinner,
and I haven't seen you in a couple of weeks,
Like, you will have been on a similar ride as me,
and then we can compare notes.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah, that's what we do.
When do you worry for me the most and why?
Oh, God.
Oh, God!
I think anytime, like,
and then I'm sensitive to this because I'm similar.
I think that,
I think that when I see you get, like, really
excited about an opportunity.
Yeah. And I feel like I don't,
I don't know anything about this opportunity, right?
So I don't know if it's like,
I don't know what's happening,
but sometimes I'm like “Oh, shit!”
But I get it! I get it why you´d be worried.
I so get it! - Yeah.
I mean,
that's the thing, that's the healthy mirror.
You know, like there's a part of me that thinks that.
That is like, - Well, totally.
is it healthy to be this excited about an opportunity?
But I think to fully fleshed that out,
when I, when I worry is like,
I hope she's like in her center on this.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
Like, I think I feel protective of you.
Yeah.
I, this comes up when we talk about,
when we talk about relationships too.
When I hear you talk about, “Oh, my God, I met this guy”,
I'm like, “Oh, I don't know”,
“I don't know about this guy”.
Maybe that's what I am. I'm like, the healthy brother.
Yeah!
You know?
Oh, shit, I don´t want to talk crap about my brothers.
No, no, no, no, no.
Sorry. Sorry, brothers.
I didn't mean like.
I didn't mean like, I'm, like, healthy and they´re unhealthy.
I just mean, like, - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know what I'm saying? - No, no, no!
Maybe I am a healthy brother... - Emotionally
You are the emotional support.
You know? - Yeah, yeah.
Definitely.
Because that's how I feel.
Like when,
and I'm sure you feel the same.
I mean, I don't want to put words in your mouth,
I'm sure you feel the same.
I mean, - It´s exactly what I wanted to say!
For four years, you probably, like,
every time I'm like, “Hey, I met this woman”,
You're like, “Oh, great. She's sound really...”
Mmmm, really?
“she sounds great!” - How many times have I heard
“I´m goin to marry her”.
And I'm like, “Mm-hm”.
That's funny.
Yeah.
Yeah, but I think I,
to turn it back around, when I worry about you the most
I guess is in those, like moments of euphoria as well.
what's a pain in me you wish you could heal?
Oh, gosh.
Yeah, that,
Oh!
Oh!
That deep pain you go through when that breakup happenes.
I wish you could, too.
Can you do it now? - Oh, my God!
I wish I could have, like a, like,
Like, just fish it out of there somehow.
I also understand you so much, because i think
that's also my defense mechanism.
You turtle up on it, and then
you come out to the world, and then you talk about it like “I'm okay!”
I know.
And it's like...
you are so, like, I admire that of you so much.
Like, you know, your boundaries.
You know, when you're, like, “guys bye.”
Like, “I´m out”.
More than, more than making a joke of it.
The fact that you can... like, it's also like,
“I need the ocean, I´m going to go surfing”.
You know, like,
you take care of yourself in a way that has inspired me a hundred percent.
Mm, thanks.
Because you really, you really know where like,
“I'll lose it if I don't do this”.
And that's pretty awesome.
What's one experience you wish I never had?
Wow.
That's funny.
What´s one experience that I wish that you never had.
That's a hard one, because I feel like your,
Your, these traumatic experiences that you've had in the past
have really shaped you and formed your life,
and have been like gifts in their own way. Right?
And I feel the same way for you.
And I know that you've sort of like, that's how you hold it.
So to tell you that I wish that that didn't happen to you seems strange.
You know what?
I can come up with something here.
Okay.
I was going to say, like, I wish that you felt like, um,
Like more taken care of in your family.
Or like, more like people were looking out for you more.
Emotionally.
Yeah. Yeah. Emotionally taken care of.
But again, I understand that was part of your process.
That's the thing. - Yeah.
I mean, I understand why. - Yeah
In the grand scheme of things.
Yeah.
And they did shape me to be the person that I am.
To have the friendship that I have with you.
Yeah, that's true.
Period.
Why am I in your life?
Um.
Because you're my healthy mirror.
Okay.
what in your relationship are you most grateful for?
Fun. Laughter.
Because you, you remind me that I don't have to be so serious.
Yeah.
Cause I'm so f***ing serious.
And I think even honestly, like, our friendship has just
has allowed me to relax in certain ways.
You know, like,
You just, you like give me shit for being stiff, you know, like, so,
like with the leaving thing, like, that is actually self-care, by the way.
Like, like having a time limit - I know!
that I'm going to stay in a place because I get exhausted.
But I love the fact
that you were the one that was like, “he's got a f***ing time limit”
You know, like you were the one that called me out for that.
Yeah.
And honestly, I, there was something about the environment
we were in, that people were trying to give you,
like they were like,
they were trying to be like, “Oh but why are you leaving?”
Yeah, the guilt.
They were trying to guilt you. Exactly.
So I guess that's why I was so giving you shit in a way, cause I was like
Sure.
Guys, he has an expression like, let it go.
Yeah.
Like, it was more of like,
“Poeple, you take care of your own f***ing business, he needs to leave”,
almost. You know? - Yeah, sure.
Almost very big sister of me trying to take care of you, if anything.
Yeah, Yeah,
Do you think your life would be different if we never met?
Do you think you'd have a different outlook on life?
F*** yes!
Easy. - Easy.
I agree. - Okay.
If there were,
If this were to be our last conversation,
what´s one thing you would never want to me to forget?
That I love you.
I love you too.
Hey there.
Thanks so much for watching.
If you enjoyed that conversation,
and you want to ask these questions to your own friends,
check out {The AND} Friends Edition card game